It is no secret to anyone that building a solid and full relationship requires that both members of a couple actively participate in the construction of that relationship. Maintaining goals and yearnings in common are part of some agreements that couples arrive to reaffirm that they are with the right person, who they love and with whom they want to share the ups and downs of life. The success of surpassing those ups and downs, will depend largely on the members of the couple, learn to work as a team in each of the areas that make up their relationship and this of course, includes their sex life.
When the couple forgets to work as a team, especially in their sex life, they become disconnected and hurt. This puts at risk the couple's potential to grow and continue together. Reconnecting requires they both identify, face and correct those mistakes that often without thinking, become protagonists within their bedroom and within their sexual life. Here I share 5 of those errors, take note and tell me later.
1. ASSUME
Going to bed assuming you know everything is always a mistake. Each body is individual and the human being is extremely changing, it can respond in different ways to the same stimulus. Today you may like to experience some experiences and sensations and not tomorrow. Many factors may depend on this response provision, whether negative or positive, until a change in mood on that day could change everything. So my recommendation is that you do not assume. Allow yourself to enter that sexual encounter, with the curiosity to discover new corners to which you have not arrived. Have fun creating different drawings each time, when you run your body with your fingers or lips and learn to flow and read the message with sounds, whispers and movements at the time of sex, your partner tells you. Do not assume either, that what you like automatically likes your partner, or because you feel "there", your partner too, just do not assume.
2. FAKING IT
Pretending that one is satisfied in the sexual act in any of its stages, is another of the errors that impoverish the couple relationships. In my consultations I always take off that something is not wrong, but rather that this "something" can always improve.
It does not contribute at all to the growth of the space of the bed, the one that pretend that you are passing it "super" well and that everything that is done in that space, is of "show". While it is true that the best time to talk about sex is not fair when they are in the sexual act, it is an excellent time to direct your partner and let him know where you feel more and what makes you vibrate. Remember, your partner is the one who seduces the buttons of your pleasure, but the pleasure is yours, you are responsible for looking for it (at your pleasure) and for conquering it too.
3. NO COMMUNICATION
If you do not communicate, do not complain and do not fight either. By not communicating, you close the doors to the many possibilities you have to really live your sexual experience as a couple. Not communicating is giving the message that everything is fine and that there is no need to work or improve any of the areas of sexual connection. If you go through any physical, psychological or emotional situation that affects your expression or sexual experience, sharing it with your partner will give both more possibilities to solve it together and the way will become easier, than try to do it or live it silently individually.
Communicating is one of the most powerful tools that couples have to overcome obstacles that may come their way. Communication is an art that couples must practice and perfect at all times in their relationship.
4. NO LISTENING
If you do not communicate, do not complain and do not fight either. By not communicating, you close the doors to the many possibilities you have to really live your sexual experience as a couple. Not communicating is giving the message that everything is fine and that there is no need to work or improve any of the areas of sexual connection. If you go through any physical, psychological or emotional situation that affects your expression or sexual experience, sharing it with your partner will give both more possibilities to solve it together and the way will become easier, than try to do it or live it silently individually.
Communicating is one of the most powerful tools that couples have to overcome obstacles that may come their way. Communication is an art that couples must practice and perfect at all times in their relationship.
5. NO VARIETY
This is one of the most constant complaints in my practice: "We always do sex in the same way and in the same place."
In sexuality it is unforgivable that when it comes to wanting to spend it rich, that "rich", it becomes boring. Allow yourself from time to time to get out of the routine and vary. Varies for example the place, not all your sexual encounters have to be in the bedroom and in bed, you up and your partner down or vice versa, and even I'm bored just imagine it. Skip the routine and put your mind to fly. Be creative, allow yourself to be spontaneous. If you think you do not know how to do it, sometimes it's a good start just to remember what they were like when they started their relationship and how they had to conquer for those sexual encounters, to move forward sometimes you just have to start over.
